Strange America

Last week, I stumbled upon the hilarious blog Confiscated Toothpaste (how great is that title?) and the entry “18 Strange Observations of America from an Australian Living in the USA”.

Some of the author’s points are on the mark. Yes, we have really fast internet. Yes, we’re very opinionated and we’re interested in your opinion too. Yes, we do think owning guns is normal. Yes, we eat and drink like there’s no tomorrow, food is delicious, and there are free refills.

Some of the author’s other points are funny and surprising.

12. The Toilets are Full of Water

I know everyone notices this but it’s really quite strange and I’ve never seen this type of toilet anywhere else. A veritable swimming pool of water greets you when you open the toilet lid and when you flush, it all goes down the drain in a huge rotating whirlpool. For all the guys out there, who try to find the “silent spot” on the bowl in the middle of the night, you can forget it in the US. When you get up in the middle of the night it will sound like Niagara Falls and ALL of your roommates will know you’re having a slash. My Uncle Rob swears that in his older age his undercarriage hangs low enough to get a wash when he flushes in the US. I’m not sure whether to believe him.

When I came to Melbourne and saw the low water level of the toilet, I wondered if it was broken.

4. They have Drive-Thru ATMs

This is not a joke. The country that brought you the drive-thru fast food restaurant now brings you the drive-thru ATM. After all, it’s a drag to actually have to get out of your car and walk up to the hole in the wall! I took some German work colleagues on a little tour around Portland and this was the thing they took the most photos of.

I took this for granted. I assumed Melbourne had drive-thru ATMs and drive-thru Starbucks.

17. They Have Loads of Dangerous Animals but Worry About Australia’s Snakes and Spiders

In the US, you can be gored by a grizzly bear, trampled by a bison, torn to shreds by a coyote, bitten by a bobcat, chowed on by a cougar, or disembowelled by a panther… yet they kept asking me how I deal with Australia’s “dangerous wildlife”! Yeah, those kangaroos and koalas are pretty scary…

The thing is, I’ve never looked up at the ceiling and seen a grizzly bear, a bison, a coyote, a bobcat, a cougar, or a panther.

I encourage you to head on over to Confiscated Toothpaste and read the whole entry. It’s funny and sweet and the comments are pretty good too. Come back and let me know what you think.